he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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