My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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