no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
