Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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