The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
