Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
