we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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