I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
