i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
