Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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