please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
