dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
