were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
