he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
