we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
