Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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