bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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