please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
