i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I fill condoms, not promises.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
