Apparently you make a good broom.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Randomize
