At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
