I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
