and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize