You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
