I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
