Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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