chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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