I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
