isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
