She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
