it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
