Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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