Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
