I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
