Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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