I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
When are your genitals available?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
