bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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