he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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