ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
