I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
