the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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