she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
my liver is dry heaving
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
