you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
