No, you can still breathe under the balls.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
