is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
