It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
