So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My orgasm happened in two different decades
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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