the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
