dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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