ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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