these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
