Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
two words: eviction party
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
