loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
