My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
