two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
